


The Impersonation

by IvyCpher



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: F/M, Impersonation, M/M, Original Character(s), Swordplay, Swords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-01-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22463908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: What should have been a simple monster slaying job for Geralt, turns into something quite melodramatic. Another person has impersonated him, and now he must find them and ask why before he kicks their ass.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 11
Kudos: 139





	The Impersonation

When Geralt had traveled a straight week to the shit stain of a town, Darova, he had expected to kill the basilisk that had put a high price on its head for killing townspeople on their way to the central well in the evening for water. The basilisk was wanted dead by the town's overseer in accordance with the King of Redania, who ruled over the town. However, when Geralt arrived at Darova, Jaskier in tow, he was told that the basilisk was already killed by another Witcher.

"Another Witcher?" Jaskier asked confusedly. The day was bright and warm and he had been tuning his lute when they arrived. "There's hardly any Witchers left, who was it?"

The overseer of the town who they had confronted at their own home shifted uneasily behind their door, "Geralt of Rivia, of course! The White Wolf."

Both Geralt and Jaskier shared an utterly bemused expression before turning back to the overseer.

"I think there might be-" Geralt had started to speak but Jaskier cut him off.

"That can't be!" He shook his head, " _ This!"  _ He gestured aggressively to Geralt, "Is Geralt of Rivia! You must have been mistaken. I'm his bard," He propped his lute in his arms, ready to play. "I'll sing you his song, I am the one who wrote it, after all."

The overseer glared at Jaskier, "I was  _ not  _ mistaken, that was the White Wolf." They crossed their arms and nodded at Geralt. "He had a bard too, just like you. 'Toss a Coin to Your Witcher'... Quite catchy, actually. But like I already told you, he came, and he killed the basilisk just a few hours ago." They looked Geralt up and down, shaking their head softly. "Honestly, you look nothing like him! You were just trying to get the coin and weasel off leaving us with that monster, weren't you?" They shook their head again and before with Geralt or Jaskier could reply, they ducked back inside their house, and closed and latched their door.

"What is this?" Jaskier asked angrily. "Some guy prancing around and singing  _ my songs? _ " He shook his head as Geralt turned around and walked to the end of the overseer's lawn where they had left Roach hitched up. "Where are you going?" He asked as Geralt climbed on Roach's back.

"To go kill my imposter," Geralt said. "Are you coming or not?"

Jaskier hurriedly put his lute in its case then strapped it to his back. Then he scrambled onto Roach behind Geralt and wrapped his arms around the Witcher's waist.

"Why would someone impersonate you?" He asked as Geralt urged Roach forward, she trotted away from the overseer's home and down the dust path through the town of Darova. "Why would anyone even  _ want  _ to impersonate you? It's not like being a Witcher has any medical benefits or sick leave."

Geralt shrugged, "I would only say for coin. Like they said, take the money and leave the monster to terrify the town… but this imposter killed the basilisk." He chewed on his lip, his eyes moving slowly across the houses of the town that were no more than pig pens.

"So they must actually have some talent in them, talent not to be killed, that is." Jaskier rested his chin on Geralt’s shoulder. "You know this could make for a wonderful epic… Once we find the guy, before you kill them and do whatever with them, can I ask them some questions? I'll need all the details for this."

"No promises," Geralt muttered. "If they can kill a basilisk then they'll be a good opponent."

Jaskier leaned forward to look at Geralt, "Yeah, but surely you're better than them. You have nothing to worry about."

Geralt didn’t say anything as he urged Roach to go faster. “Just keep your eyes open for a bard accompanying a man who supposedly I look nothing like.”

Since the imposters had left Darova not long before they had arrived, he knew that they couldn’t be far behind them.

Once they left Darova behind, there was nothing around them but the bare, dusty path and the trees growing around it, blocking the sun. Off the path, a ways in front of them, Geralt noticed how some small trees had been trampled over and bent; their thin, twiggy trunks snapped in half. The inner wood was still fresh and green. Without hesitation he had Roach change direction to follow the new trail off the path.

Jaskier looked around, leaning sideways to look towards the new path they were following, “Um- where are we going?”

“They had to have gone this way,” Geralt looked over his shoulder at Jaskier. “The path was fresh,” He supplied when Jaskier didn’t stop looking confused.

“Oh!” Jaskier said after a moment, “Of course, yeah, I see it now.”

Geralt smiled softly as he turned back around. Once they had traveled far enough into the woods that he was sure no one would see Roach from the main path, he stopped her and got down. “You coming?” He asked Jaskier as he unsheathed his sword from his back.

With a nod, Jaskier slid off Roach’s back and tied her reins around a tree. “So… we’re just following this mysterious path until we find the imposters... “ He pursed his lips, straightening the strap of his lute case across his chest. “What if it’s a trap?”

“Then be prepared to duck,” Shrugged Geralt. He turned around and started down the path without another word. “But if you don’t want them to hear us coming,” He spoke without looking around at Jaskier. “For fucks sake, keep your hands off your lute.”

Jaskier, who had been reaching over his back to remove his lute from its case, immediately stopped. “Got it.” He said. “No lute playing-”

“And no talking."

“No talking,” Jaskier echoed. He then zipped his lips with a pretend zipper and then threw the pretend zipper away.

With a relieved sigh that he didn’t have to argue with Jaskier about shutting up, Geralt continued forward with his sword drawn. Whoever was impersonating him and Jaskier, he knew they weren’t planning on running into them. If they were, they would have done a better job of covering up their tracks. The path they left was clear, they had both rode a horse through these woods not too long ago. With any luck, they would still be there.

With every step they took, the path looked fresher and fresher. The grass was down and shiny. Geralt put his hand out to stop Jaskier as he himself stopped. A hundred feet or so ahead he saw two men, sitting under a tree and talking, with a horse tied up nearby. He grabbed Jaskier by the shirt and quickly pulled him behind a tree. Jaskier let out a yelp and had started to ask questions before Geralt could slap his hand over his mouth. “Be quiet,” He growled.

“What was that?” Geralt heard one of the people say. He heard a sword unsheath, “I’m going to go take a look… you stay here," one of them said, and started to walk slowly through the woods through them.

Geralt rolled his eyes and glared at Jaskier, taking his hand off of his mouth. Jaskier at least had the sense to stay quiet, his eyes were wide. Geralt gave him a look that quite plainly said ‘shut up and stay here’. With a quiet sigh he waited until the footsteps drew closer, closer,  _ closer. _

Finally when he figured that the person was only a few feet away, Geralt jumped out from behind the tree with his sword drawn, ready to strike. Who Geralt saw surprised him so much that he almost let him stab him in the gut. It was a man, a few inches taller with him who looked like a muddled mirror version of himself. He had the same dirty white hair that he had and armor that nearly looked exactly like his. He even had a damn sharp sword that Geralt was almost skewered with while he was busy looking at him.

"Capriana!" Came another voice that Geralt didn't register as anything more than background noise as he stepped back and deflected at the last second with his own sword. For a moment, their swords were locked, both of them pushing for the other to slip up on their grip; but then Geralt's opponent jumped back and lunged at him again.

He was fast, Geralt could recognize that much. As Geralt battled with his opponent, his mind was torn between trying to keep him alive and trying to figure out who in hell his imposter was. He knew that he wasn't a doppler or a shifter of any type because they didn't look completely like him, but Geralt could feel the magik radiating off of him as they fought, their swords clanging together. He couldn't even get a clear look at his opponent's face, it was blurred over like a fog with some light traces of magik. Ahead of them both, Geralt registered another person clad in red, running at them both with a lute raised above his head and screaming, "Leave her alone!"

Geralt took a guess that that was the other bard who was impersonating Jaskier.

Geralt didn't have time to think about what the bard had shouted because a second later, Jaskier came around the tree where he was hiding and tackled the other bard before he even knew what hit him. From there came the strangled sounds of fighting, grunts, yells, and oddly, the occasional string of a lute.

Luckily for Geralt, his opponent was distracted by his musical accompaniment being taken to the ground. His sword hand had dropped and in a second he had forgotten about Geralt. A second, thankfully, was all Geralt needed. "Salomon!" His opponent shouted, and before he could turn around to assist his bard, Geralt disengaged his blade.

The blade clattered out of Geralt's opponent's hands and on to the ground. Before he could retaliate, however, Geralt kicked him hard in the chest and sent him flying to the ground. In a second, Geralt was on top of his impersonator with end of his sword inches from his throat. Both of them were breathing heavily, Geralt could feel his opponent heaving under him. And he was going to kill him and just leave it at that. But then the magik mist that had been obscuring his face faded and what Geralt saw surprised him more than when he had first seen his imposter.

"You're.. a woman," He said slowly, studying her features that were no longer blurred by her magik. "And an elf." He noted her pointed ears that poked through her hair. He drew back his sword.

Underneath Geralt, the elf didn't struggle. She looked up at him coldly, "And you haven't killed me," She spat, her eyes following the movement of his sword as he put it back in its holster on his back.

"Not yet," Warned Geralt and he got off of her.

Quickly the elf grabbed her sword and stood up. "Why not now?" She asked, sheathing her sword.

"I have a few questions of my own that I'd like answered." As he crossed his arms, Geralt leaned to the side to look past the elf. Jaskier and the other bard were still fighting, their fists raised. Geralt caught sight of blood trickling down Jaskier's chin and his stomach twisted. "But before that, let's call them off before they kill each other." He pointed to the two bards, circling each other like wild dogs.

The elf hurriedly turned around to look at the bards, "Salomon! It's fine, I'm alright!" She called, starting towards the two and Geralt followed behind her.

The bard in red, Salomon, dropped his fists and turned to face them. He was smiling, but it was barely visible through his mousey brown beard. "Capriana! You're alright!" He took a step towards them but before he got close, Jaskier decked him in the jaw.

"Damn!" Hissed Jaskier, quickly retracting his arm and weakly flexing his fingers, "That hurt!"

The blood on his chin was still bright and red, but it was beginning to dry brown around the edges, it leaked slowly from his split lip.

Salomon stumbled back, his hand flying to his jaw. His fingertips disappeared beneath his beard. "What the hell was that for, Jaskier?" He hissed, reeling back to return Jaskier's punch but quickly, the elf Capriana appeared at his side and put her hand on his shoulder.

"You two know each other?" Asked Capriana, lowering Salomon's arm. Her dark eyes shifted between Jaskier and Salomon.

With a glare, Jaskier took a step away from both Capriana and Salomon. "Know each other? He was the worst bully to me! We used to live in the same town." He stood next to Geralt and crossed his arms, looking sullen.

"Bully? I didn't bully you until you went around and slept with my girlfriend!" Salomon growled. Then he hurriedly looked at Capriana, "Who of course means nothing to me by the way, old girl, old news-" He muttered to her.

"Hey, she wasn't your girlfriend when I had her!" Jaskier took a step forward but then paused, he looked over his shoulder at Geralt. "Hold me back, will you?"

With a sigh, Geralt put a single hand on Jaskier's shoulder. He shared a tired glance with Capriana. He had no idea how this all was happening and at that point he thought it was too late to ask.

"Thanks-" Jaskier smiled then turned back to Salomon and he was immediately frowning. "You're lucky I have Geralt here! He's the  _ real Witcher  _ here! The  _ real _ White Wolf!" He struggled against Geralt's none existent hold. "Oh- if he weren't here, I'd punch you again!"

"Do it, pansy!" Salomon spat on to the ground. "You can't throw a punch and you  _ still  _ can't grow a beard! I'm not afraid of you!"

Geralt had to actually hold Jaskier back at that comment. To his surprise, he fought with a surprising amount of strength to get free. “A beard? That’s what you’re calling that thing on your face? Looks more like a dead cat!” 

Capriana immediately hooked her arms under Salomon’s and held him back, “Alright!” She hissed, “That’s enough now!” Her voice was taunt and she glared at Geralt. “Keep your bard’s hands to himself and I’ll do the same with mine.”

“Hey!” Shouted both Salomon and Jaskier.

Ignoring Jaskier, Geralt nodded. “It’s a deal. I didn’t think bards could turn feral.”

“Perhaps that’s why you never see more than one together.”

For once Jaskier and Salomon shared a look that wasn’t hatred for one another.

"Okay- am I missing something?" Asked Jaskier, and despite the fact that he was no longer struggling to pummel Salomon, Geralt was still holding on to him. "The only reason we haven't killed each other is because you two broke us up, but- why haven't you two killed each other?"

Finally letting go of Jaskier, Geralt spoke, "You wanted questions for your epic," He looked at Capriana, "And I wanted answers."

With a sigh, Capriana too let go of Salomon. "Then I suppose you'll kill us?" She didn't sound disappointed, just vaguely curious.

"If your answers aren't good, then maybe. But I won't promise anything."

With a glance, Capriana and Salomon had a silent conversation. Then with a sigh, Salomon nodded. He abruptly sat down on the ground and picked up his lute that he had lost at the beginning of the fight. "What do you want to know?" He asked, beginning to tune his lute as Capriana sat on her knees beside him.

"There's a lot that goes into the process of picking the person you're going to impersonate." Geralt said, also sitting down. "But what person in their sane mind would pick a Witcher to impersonate?" He looked up at Jaskier who was still awkwardly standing, but under his gaze the bard sighed and too, sat down, crossing his legs in front of him.

Capriana open her mouth but Salomon cut her off, "A person who needs coin, that's who." She smacked his arm. "Sorry, Ann-"

With a sigh, Capriana closed her eyes for a second in annoyance. "Because of your bard...-"

"Jaskier." Jaskier supplied, nodding.

Capriana returned his nod, "Yes, Jaskier." She put her hand on Salomon's knee, "Because of your song, you inflated the knowledge of Geralt across the whole continent. Everyone loves a catchy song about a monster slaying warrior, even more if the warrior is real."

"That… still doesn't answer my question." Geralt said slowly.

Salomon started to crack his knuckles, glancing at Jaskier, "We did it for the coin, like I said. Ann knew her share of monsters and enough magik to make herself look like a man, so she pretended to be a Witcher. You, more importantly." He pointed to Geralt, "Because your Witcher abilities have such good reviews from  _ his  _ songs. People want a practiced Witcher who they know they can count on, not one they've never heard of."

Jaskier leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, "But why a Witcher?" He asked, "Isn't there a less dangerous job to be had than that? I mean, your skills have to be good if you could pass as Geralt. Is it Salomon? Was he holding you back from getting a decent gig as bar maid or something?" He grinned, "Gets horribly angry when he's drunk, he'd scare away the customers!"

Capriana glared at Jaskier, "What prevented me from getting another job was the common prejudice that runs through many humans." She said coldly. Then after a pause, "Plus the surplus of monsters."

"So you paraded around as me to try and steal some of my work?" Asked Geralt. He might have been mad about the loss of profit, but it eased him to think about how many horrible monsters he didn't have to kill because of Capriana. How she had made his life a grain of salt easier.

Capriana nodded, "That sounds about right." She sighed and pushed her hair out of her face. "Does that appease you, Witcher?"

Geralt stood up, "Mostly," He said, looking down at Capriana and Salomon. He wasn't the type of person to get nosey into other's lives like some common old maid, but the curious question as to what payment was payment enough for someone to pretend to be Witcher churned in his mind. "What's all the coin for? It's going to something, and I don't think that that something is a better way to impersonate me." He looked at Salomon. "Or a shaving blade." Below him, Jaskier snorted, and Geralt's lips twitched into a smile.

Salomon looked less eager to fight Geralt than he had Jaskier, but he still looked angry nonetheless. Before he could speak however, Capriana laughed. "Sorry-" She said quickly to Salomon, not bothering to hide her smile. But in a breath she composed herself, "We're saving to hide away from the toxic humans… No offense."

"No, they're shit." Nodded Geralt. "Go on."

Capriana continued, her smile widening a bit, "We plan to be married and after then to buy some land just big enough for us... and a child, perhaps… we want a home together." She said firmly. "Me pretending to be you was the quickest way to raise the funds, not to mention, it's just as dangerous as the racism I've been dealt by many of your kind." She slowly stood up. "I always thought it was better to fight for a goal than to live for nothing."

Geralt studied Capriana, then his eyes drifted to Salomon on the ground. There was bruising forming around the bard's eye, and it made Geralt happy to know that Jaskier got more than one punch in. He extended his hand to Jaskier, then when he took it, pulled him up. "We're leaving." He said.

"Leaving?" Sputtered Jaskier. "Just like that?" He waved his arms vaguely at Capriana and Salomon. "No conflict?"

Salomon took a step forward, muttering, "I'll give you conflict-" But Capriana put her arm in front of him and stopped him.

She eyed Geralt carefully. "You're just leaving? You're not… angry?"

With a sigh, Geralt shook his head. "For an elf who wants to raise money to build a house and live a quiet life, you sure as hell keep bringing up the fact that I should kill you. Or at least wanted to kill you. Of course I am angry," He shrugged, "Or I was. Just don't push your luck impersonating me again." Carefully, as though he didn't know he was actually doing it, Geralt grabbed the black coin pouch off his belt and opened it. He took out a small handful of silver and golden coins and held them out to Capriana.

Capriana only stared at Geralt's hand as if it were a three headed chicken and not money.

"Go on," Geralt commanded. "Take it and get out of my job market quicker."

When Capriana finally took the money, Geralt quickly turned around. He grabbed Jaskier by the sleeve and started pulling him with him back through the woods from whence they came. They hadn't traveled even a few yards when Capriana spoke.

"Thank you, Geralt of Rivia!"

Geralt didn't say anything in return, instead he put up his hand as he walked away in a halfhearted gesture of goodbye.

For a moment, he and Jaskier walked with silence, but then there was never much silence around Jaskier to begin with. "Geralt, when did you turn into such a softie?" He asked, grinning. The blood on his lip had dried into a weak scab and his hair was a rats nest from fighting his old enemy.

Arching a brow, Geralt looked ahead of them, careful not to meet Jaskier's eye. "The same time you turned into clergyman."

"Don't lie! You gave her that money so that she could get out of this dangerous job!"

That was the truth but Geralt would never say it. Being a Witcher was a God-awful thing that no one asked for, and there was a reason that there were so few of his kind left. He didn't want another person who had already suffered enough to be roped into it on the fickle gamble of coin. "I'll tell you just as I told her, just I don't want her stealing my work."

**Author's Note:**

> Crack crack CRACK!  
> Thank you to my lovely friend Sky for beta-ing this! Her name for this fic was [Insert that one Spider-Man Meme Here] and while I loved it, I didn't think you readers could handle it.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!


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